World's Most Disgusting Pizza Award... and the Winner Is...

That's right. For the second year in a row, Grand Voyage Italy is proud to announce its World's Most Disgusting Pizza Award--Il Disgustoso--to Pizza Hut for its Stuffed Garlic Knots Pizza. Last year, we gave our award to the Hut's Hot Dog Bites Pizza.

This over-abundant pile of ancient, frozen dough and greasy toppings has 16 cheese-filled garlic knots stuck around the edge of a large, slick pizza. Add pepperoni for even more grease and calories and salt.  The plain version contains 460 per slice, or 3,680 calories per pizza. Each slice puts 18 grams of fat, 1,120 mg of sodium and 54 grams of carbs into your gut. Povero appetito!

Customers who have had this pizzaiolo monstrosity say it is one of the greasiest pizzas they've ever eaten. Wait a sec. I've made an error here and referred to whoever came up with this horrible idea as a "pizzaiolo". That term is meant for Master Pizza Chefs, not for industrial chemists that work for fast food chains. Forgive me for misspeaking. You see, the people who come up with such fast food fodder are called "food technologists", not chefs. While they might have a "food science" degree, their work is heavily chemistry based, with a minor in marketing.

The aftermath

Getting back to the Stuffed Garlic Knots Pizza... As it turns out, the "knots" are really balls... and they tend to fall off easily. They are stuffed with factory grade mozzarella "cheese", but also with lots of air. Depending on the "skills" of the fast food preppers at your local shop, the cheese inside the balls might not be melted. And instead of the 16 "knots" advertised, depending on the location, you might get only 8.

As for garlic, there isn't much--just a little bit of garlic salt in the spice/parmesan mixture tossed on top of the balls. The large size of the "garlic" balls makes a large pizza look like a medium. And a warning... although Pizza Hut touts this as a pizza having built-in "appetizers", don't eat the garlic knots first, or you won't have room for the main thing you came for... pizza. Well, that's using the word loosely. If you want pizza, either go to your favorite local joint or make one yourself at home. Here's How to Make a Basic Thin Crust Pizza.

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--Jerry Finzi

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